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A Tribute to My Buddy, Ronald Boyes

To our Dear "Wonode" It's hard to believe it is over a year now since you 'moved' away.We think of you every day and miss you terribly. You would be so proud of Laura, but then you know she is an awesome chick!! You are there every time we go to Applebees or the Red Lobster, or any of our favorite haunts, and Laura now tells your old stories for you every time!! Knowing you are there will make our own relocations easier. 'Til we meet again, dear friend, Kar Kar and Wally
No chance to say goodbye....
March 7 , 2007, a dear, dear friend died. Ronald Boyes was a very special buddy. The kind you are lucky to find once in a lifetime. We met later in life, and we had far too few years to spend together.
My life, like those of all who knew him, changed that day, and it all seems so surreal. Death is such a mystery. It will take some time to realize that we won't see him again, this side of Heaven.
Our little granddaughter called him "Wonode" before she could pronounce his name, and Wonode he will always be. He leaves a large and loving family, Laura, his sweetheart of fifty-five years, four sons and a daughter, and all of their spouses, children and grandchildren. With all of those who will miss Ronald in their own way, I will miss my best friend..

Just before his 74th birthday, Ronald's daughter hosted a wonderful celebration to make up for Thanksgiving, Christmas and both his and his wife's birthdays. It was also a surprise party for her husband's birthday.Ron and Laura had missed the holiday festivities due to his bout with pneumonia , and his lung cancer surgery was scheduled the day before he would turn 74.
Well over forty people attended, mostly family, and a few privileged friends. We were honored to be included.How were any of us to know it was Ronald's "going away party" ??
Prior to Thanksgiving, last year, my buddy was robust, energetic and full of life. He and I were always back and forth, telling stories and making plans, sometimes at my place, sometimes at his, often in our front yards, it didn't matter. Sometimes we would just holler down the street while we were working out in the front yards. We talked about going fishing a lot more than we ever went, and when we did go, we might never get out our lines, just had fun talking and goofing off. Few fish were ever endangered by our outings!! My only regret is that we didn't get to know each other sooner. We lived just two doors away, but before we retired, we both had lives to live and families to raise. But now we could grow old together, we thought.
When we both found ourselves at home a lot, we started to become good buddies. We had a lot in common, and it was so easy to just be myself with Ronald. Never any judgments or criticisms, just respect and acceptance.
Ron and I had many years of planning and talking left, and there is an empty space in my heart now that he is gone. The years we did have together were short, but precious to both of us. I am so thankful for his friendship.
Our dogs called the Boyes' place their second home. They got to sleep in the bed when they stayed there overnight. And they loved it when the little "Boyes boys" came up for a romp in our backyard. We could say to Tess, "go see Ronnie" and she would be at their porch, her nose rattling the gate, before you could get the door shut behind her. Ronald was famous (in the doggie world) for the "sock dollies" he would make out of his old socks. Our dogs love to play "pug-a-war" with them. Sadly, there will be no more fragrant Ronnie socks for sock dollies.
Ron was an overcomer, rising above challenges most knew nothing about. He worked hard until his retirement, then he mowed his lawn, visited with his neighbors, enjoyed his wife, his life and family and his beloved Lhasa Apso dogs, Oscar and Mickey. He loved his Lord, and was a joy to be around, always offering a helping hand.
The four of us enjoyed frequent Friday night dinners out together. Ronald had a wild sense of humor, and talked a mile a minute. We laughed long and hard together. We used to tease that if he didn't know something, he would make it up!! We had a special bond, and it was obvious that we loved getting together. We had moved out of the neighborhood last fall, but we stayed close. So much of what Ron and I shared didn't require words. We were just 'on the same wave length'. Our wives enjoyed just watching us. Neither of us had ever had such a good buddy,
Thanksgiving brought an ambulance to the house and a very sick Ronald to the emergency room. He had become acutely ill, very rapidly and had a severe pneumonia. It took several days in the hospital, and weeks at home to recover. But as it turned out, the testing involved in this "cloud" of pneumonia revealed a silver lining. A cancerous tumor was found in his lung, which would have gone undetected, if not for the MRI. A silver lining, we thought, because it could be treated at this early stage, and most likely would not be terminal. What we could not know then, was that, while the tumor was successfully removed, and had not spread, the complications of the surgery would prove too much for him to take.
He fought bravely through an intensive surgery, a cardiac arrest, weeks on a ventilator, and severe hospital acquired infections.His family was at his side constantly, always holding out hope for a recovery, and never losing faith in their God.
Ron would sometimes look like he was far away. I like to think that, was when he was looking over Mansions in Heaven, choosing just the right one for a retirement home for him and Laura. Other times he could respond with his eyes, gestures and words he would mouth. It must have been so difficult to stay in his body all of that time. He recognized us when we visited, but it was really hard to see him with all of the tubes and machines needed to keep him alive. We didn't get to see much of him during this time, and when we did, I had to say I was his brother, to get into the special care unit!
A sign hung over his bed, "Ronald, a Child of the King" to remind those who entered, that this was a special person indeed. While we all try to make sense of this loss, we watch the world keep on turning and people go about their daily lives. For those close to a death, it seems unreal. How can life go on around us as though nothing has happened? We feel even more helpless, since both of us have the flu and couldn't be around the family.
The photo at the top of the page shows the Mighty Fishermen just before their big trip last year. It is now on the bookshelf in my study.There is a candle in the living room, and we wait for the memorial service. It is so hard to believe, to take it all in.

There is an empty spot on earth.Every day, somebody loses someone they love. The world keeps turning, and lives go on. But for today, it is us and life has stopped briefly. We too, Laura, the family , and all of us whose lives Ronald touched, will go on. I will never forget this humble, hard working and funny friend, and look forward to our reunion, whenever that will be.

It is a wonderful promise God has given, that even though it is so hard to separate in this life, it isn't the end! Heaven Awaits those who believe.Goodbye for now, dear friend, Wally

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